7# पितृ देवो भव् – Remembering My Father on His Birthday

“मातृ देवो भव् पितृ देवो भव् “… (Taittiriya Upanishad) means Respects to Mother and Father. They are all forms of God.

I believe they are the only living gods we see in our life.

I am dedicating this article to my inspiration,friend,philosopher and guide – My Father.

He was a fourth child among six siblings born to educated farmer. His parents and my  grandparents Narayandas and Gangaben were a happy couple, working hard to raise their family with very small pack of land inherited by forefathers and were living in my native village Karbatiya (Ta. Vadnagar , India).

I heard from my father that his parents had to sell their most of their belongings over the time to give their kids a good education. My grandfather always believed that the education is the only way to transform to your spiritual and socio-economic status.The same belief percolated into my father due to his real life experiences.The respect and love for his parents was great.He did anything he could do to make them feel cared and loved. I rate him dedicated and responsible son.

My Father-SSC Photo

 A person being emotional , family , friends and native place lover was very popular in every community of our native village. Even today his friends still tell us his stories about all the mischief they did together and also how academically brilliant, handsome (actually people called him Rishi Kapoor in his school/college days) and brave was he? that makes us feel proud. I have seen his friends cried for him when he left us forever.Members of every community came to his funeral.That showed the love he received from his friends and community and vice versa.

I consider his love for his siblings and their kids was very sacrificial however it has never been appreciated. My cousins still recognise and accept the fact about his solicitude to our big family.

His love and respect to my mother was just phenomenal however he admitted that he could never give everything she deserved due to his illness and other commitments. He expressed regret in front of me in his last days that whether he could ever give her anything back what she has sacrified for us.

We two brothers of course were jewels of his eyes. His way to love us was quite a different.The discipline and health were main themes in his affection.We were denied other food if would not eat any healthy stuff like bitter melon :). A good thing was that he just motivated to be excellent at whatever we do regardless of type and level of work.That made us more pressure free in our career paths. The bedtime stories he told us included the stories of Ramayan,Mahabharat and Indian independence.Further he nurtured our hobby of reading and my natural fine art skills. As a Mukhya Shikshak at RSS Shakha (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rashtriya_Swayamsevak_Sangh), he took us there every evening.That encouraged our self-awareness of nationalism, morality, duties, leadership, equality and physical fitness. His teaching on moral values was practical, one of the real life experience when we kids bought chocolates from the shop and the shopkeeper returned us more change than it should be,we were happy kids because we got extra money by somebody’s mistake but eventually we had been brought back to the shop and told to return the extra bucks.We didnt like that initially but we felt respect about ourselves and our father for doing the right thing.

His motivation on our failures still reminds me that how positive was he.On the failures in the life exams and having the greatest disappointments, he usually said “you will have many other chances,this is not the end of life,on positive side you still can learn from your failures.”, to be honest he was damn right. Despite of his on and off 15 year bedridden illness , he was full of positivity and spirituality.He never got depressed because of his deteriorated health and eventually financial and other opportunities in his life. I don’t know where did he get that energy from? He always believed in “Law of Karma”. He always said that the reason of his suffering might be his Karma from his past life. He preached us to be conscious about our Karma and we are trying to be very conscious. We are taking our health very seriously because he gave his own example about how health is the real wealth.On kids development he used to say , “parents are the only best teachers in the world and we can’t just transfer our major responsibility of values and academic education to the kids’ school teachers only.”He used to say make good and long term friends and love them without any expectations.

I don’t know what people would have ever recognised him – just by his financial success or by his status? but for us he was our teacher, motivator, philosophical friend and a great father.

Would we ever be able to give such a wealth to our new generations? Would we be able to do such a great sacrifices for our parents ?

On his birthday today (23 November) he would have completed 60 years and we would have celebrated his Shasthi Poorti (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shashti_Poorthi).Unfortunately he is physically not with us since December 2007 but spiritually,by his thoughts and ideology he will be will us forever, generations to generations.

Love you dad and we need you today for ourselves and our kids.We acknowledge and appreciate your importance in our life. We know you are smiling and blessing us from the sky as Pitru (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitrs).

Wishing you a very happy birthday Pappa and Miss you so much…………………………

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6# Friendship Briefing

A friendship is the “volunteer relationship” a person would build during his/her life stages. The person’s life stage changes the perspectives to the friendship over the time. Some keep the relation same throughout the life and some changes due to factors like class-ism, importance, ignorance, avoidance and requirements etc.

I believe common types of friendship may have been seen are ,

  1. School/college Friendship : This is the honest and long-lasting friendship because it is not based on any hidden expectations/agendas. On the other side this is the tough to maintain because of the new friendships come along the path of the life.No expectations,no jealousy,tolerance and no hidden agendas are the factors which leads this friendship to its genuineness. Most of the friends of school times are always excited about everybody’s wellness and help.Even though they get little time to meet each other due to location,time,profession and other constraints.e.g. School friends’ meet always discuss about old good memories and everybody’s progress or helping each other.
  2. Nature Friendship: Nature can be a great friend in terms of loving a garden,river,mountain,forest,ocean or animals. This friendship generally is without any expectations.MOST SACRED FRIENDSHIP.
  3. Professional/Business Friendship : When the person enters into the profession, he/she starts making friends of same or different interests in the profession.The person generally spends one-third time of his/her day at the work so this friendship can be more deep and honest. This relationship could last longer till the death or till the job ends.It is entirely depend on how the relationship is maintained both way.This friendship is considered most volatile friendship.
  4. Social Friendship: The social friendship may be developed in many ways like relation with our kid’s friend’s parents, our neighbours or club members etc. This friendships generally changes as the priorities and needs of the person changes in his life during various stages of his/her life. Some people may find the social friendships are hardest to maintain over the time as same interest as it has been started. This type of friendship generally stay live when the friends are on same locations where they can meet regularly as soon as the location changes the friendship is getting blurrier and sometimes to the end due to lack of any communication.
  5. Family Friendship: People related via family,blood and other close means are falling into this category.This type of friendship is built due to the family known each other from long time.In family relation friendship,it has been seen many brothers,sisters,mothers,fathers,cousins,aunts,uncles and in-laws etc are friends of each others. This friendships are closely knitted friendships which may have lots of expectations too thus when this friendship get damaged,it hurts the most.
  6. Life Friendship : In this type of friendship,Only two persons can be your friend-one is your partner or yourself (God). Most intense relationship where you can share anything and everything.

Even though people surrounded by lots of friends ,why many of them are not happy with their current state of  friendship.

Here are the few reasons ,

  • Expectations : Expecting something from people is common but minimum expectations keep your friendship without complain.
  • Comparison : Comparing yourself with your friend is completely unjust to yourself as everyone is different in the fact of your priorities,needs,life journey and value system then why to compare? The difference make you more colorful than the dull uniformity.
  • Jealousy : Being jealous is common human instincts however once you understand what is your life journey about and nothing you can compare then there will be no space for jealousy.
  • Prejudice : A person who set an opinion based on the experience previously had from the person.It is unfair to yourself to keep going with the same thoughts. Be tolerant an accept the friend with new perspective. You may overcome from prejudice.

Friendship is the best relation in the world which can be maintained only by your dedication towards friendship,selflessness in the friendship,no calculations and less expectations.

In a simple words for any relationship “think about others before yourself they will do the same.”

Friends if you like my work please feel free to comment and share.